Imagine...

Today, if you could close your eyes and imagine a time in your life that you could magically go back to, where would it be?

Like a prayer, close your eyes and imagine that time, that place, what does it look like? Feel like? Smell like? The only thing you can bring with you is the you you are now. Where would you go?



Half asleep, lying in my twin bed that is shored up against the log cabin wall closest to the waters edge. I am at our camp on the New Meadows River, 10 years old, it is early summer.

The windows, screened ran all along the outer wall of the enclosed cabin porch and had old rod iron arms that stretched and lock them open. On this night they are partially open. The air is thick with a foggy mist, not over salt laden like home on Great Island, but wet enough so when you walked down the hill to the outhouse your nighty and skin were damp from it.

Lying in bed the only light on in the camp was the one beside my fathers chair where he sat, feet up, reading the newest paperback thriller from Bookland and listening to the RedSox game on the transistor radio to the left of his chair. That light illuminates the rafters above my head, casting shadows in the corners making the spider webs more iradesent and somehow larger then the daytime.

Dad's chest clearing cough was comforting, he was always there and falling asleep was easy.

Eyes still closed... I explore the world around me, almost always outdoors. At 10, I can be anything I want to be as long as I am not in the way of the dailiness of the house hold. I have finished my chores that are posted and expected to be done without asking and am off to busy myself with any variety of things.

I am a mermaid, if the tide is high in the alcoves of the brackish water. Canopies of tall oaks and maples surround me as I swim off the ledges transforming from mermaid to harbor seal back to a little girl. I can hear my voice echo with the smallest of whoo hoo's, it is peaceful here.



I am a writer, at my little desk that my niece now has in her downtown apartment. I am writing stories, secret diary entries, comic strips, letters, poems and if I am at a loss, transcribing long stanzas from old books that mom would buy from antique shops or estate auctions. It is fun and feels very collegic.


The writer becomes a secretary at a real estate office, "Baribeau Real Estate, how can I help you?" This memory, I am bouncing around in my father's truck, running his errands with him and am awe struck by how much fun it would be to have a phone at my little desk and pretend I was that fancy secretary too!  Then the secretary turns into a bank teller with extra deposit slips tucked in my drawer that Dad would let me take along with a bank pen when we went there as well. After hours the writer, the secretary and the bank teller would become an artist. Collage, coloring and painting materials would all come out and nothing was off limits.

Closing my eyes and imagining a time like this, even just for a few minutes brings a joyful remembrance and a peaceful calm in a time that is uncertain. At 10, I didn't know what was going to happen from day to day either. I was safe where I was as long as I was home and lived within the confines of what others, mostly the ones that I trusted and could count on deemed important and for my safety. The rest of the world could fall away and I wouldn't have known any different.

Today we do know all about the world, all the options, all the scenarios, worse case and best. But the knowing of it doesn't seem to help right now. We can watch the news till our eyes fall out but it doesn't seem to help much or make anything better for us today.

So, my simple practice today will be, not to stick my head in the sand, but to just close my eyes for a while, imagine myself in some other time or place, embrace the feeling, the sights and sounds that surrounds me there and bring them back here, to share.


Where will you go? Share this with someone who you feel might need to read it too if you want.

photo credit: judygarlandasdorothy.com

"We're not in Oz anymore Dorothy"... but that's ok, because for today I'm going to imagine that there is no place like home and home for me is to be 10~

Happy Friday Gang!

Cheers,
Denice

Express Yourself!

It still amazes me, the shift that happens within my writer's mind when I allow space to let it play. The ideas, the scenarios, the presence in all things that just seems to come when that door is cracked open. Part of me knows deep inside that the reason I don't "go there" is because of this shift.

Life in the last seven months has been nothing short of a crazy train of changes, new opportunities, milestones, and forward momentum for so many of the people that surround me and that I love in my life. My creative internal pause button has been on during all of these months and as I begin to open up to this blog platform I know it is going to be difficult to be here.

My personality is one that does't really know how to do anything part way, I'm either in or I'm out.. It seems very severe and rigid for someone who leans on the flowery side of life most days, but that is kind of how it happens and is part of who I am to the chagrin of my nearest and dearest.  This askew concentration becomes very evident when I begin to write. I hyper focus on the material, I day dream about the next piece, I envision every photo into a story or a non fiction narrative and the rest of my life skitters off the path and becomes a trail of tears in my literary wake. This is why I don't always "go there", as it obviously can be a struggle.

Fortunately, the longer I've lived and opened this door I've come to terms with the monkey mind that shows up on the page and although it may take me down the path of no return for a time, during the writing, I've managed to place a rein on it. My daily writing in my journals over the last twenty five years is where I have wrestled and trained. This practice has allowed my inner monkey to relax a bit knowing the ideas are safely tucked away and have not escaped my attention. "Some day", I assure it... we will sit down and get these written, but for now we need to go grocery shopping... Lol..

I'm not crazy, just creative! I need a t-shirt that says that.

The muse or our creative selves are a living, breathing part of who we all are, some of us just access it easier then others. Mine shifts.. Thank God! I am grateful for that. When I'm not writing, I'm cooking, if I'm not cooking, I'm mixing up salves and concoctions with my essential oils and herbal remedies.. If not that, then making jams, pickles, gardening, reading, exploring mixed media arts of all shapes and sizes, taking pictures & thinking about writing... That usually gets me back on the page in short order. It's all good in my opinion.

Expressing who we really are in whatever way we can, in whatever time allows during the seasons of our lives is imperative to the Greatest Creator of all.. This is why we are here people. :))

How will you bring it today? I know I am not alone. Have a monkey mind kind of day~

Cheers!

Generating Creativity

Years ago I was wandering around the old Bookland & Cafe in Brunswick, ME. Miss it still! While flipping through the inspiring works of writers and artists I came upon the book, "The Artist's Way", by Julia Cameron. At the time I had never experienced any of her writing and within the first few lines I was hooked! It was a book based on courses that she had developed on cultivating and nurturing your creative self~ in whatever genre or creative realm you existed within. Mine at the time was writing of course, as that has been my mainstay since I was ten, but I was also exploring color and painting through watercolor outside of a home based stenciling job that I was working at in our basement while raising our three young sons.

Julia set me on a course of exploration.. She gave me tools within her books that I still utilize in my everyday creative process. Over time I have shifted in my mediums up and down the span of art but have always maintained the "process" that I learned through her wonderful 12 week self directed course work. I highly recommend it.

Morning pages (journaling) and artists dates are the two constants in my daily creative path that I learned from Julia's book. The writing just seems to flow now after all of these years. My journals fill up without effort, the artist dates took a bit more time to cultivate.

Elizabeth Gilbert in her latest book on creativity, "Big Magic" quotes Joan Didion, "I don't know what I think until I write it down." I related so much to that one statement and understand fully after twenty four years of writing that this one line is why I have to get up every morning before the world begins to write, otherwise I am stuck. Who knew! Thank goodness I have that tool, without it and left to myself I'd undoubtably be a hot mess.

The artist's dates didn't come as easily to me. It was more of an effort to take myself out and experience those times in the beginning. The biggest hurdle I think was to truly identify myself as an "artist". It felt very self indulgent and ego centered initially to claim that label, but over the years I've come to be kinder to myself and to allow that artist inside of me to come fully into place regardless of my critical self or God forbid what others might think.

 How else would I explain my quirky, random colorful idea flurries or frenzied involvement within my pages or in the learning phases of my art if not for the clear definition of a creative mind.. I just had to wait a bit for my true self to evolve.. ahhh.. wisdom, it's a beautiful thing.

So.. the artist's dates as of late have been in the form of taking a class at my friend Mandy Russell's new mixed media art studio, The Painted Dog, in the Brunswick area. A haven of creative energy and support to explore color, texture, layers and just freedom to play. It is fabulous!! Tuesday I jumped at the chance to attend her morning class offering and it made my whole week. New ideas flourished in my own work, I felt excited about learning something new. Being excruciatingly verbal I shared much if not all of my five year old excited self with dear hubby throughout the last few days. He being eternally supportive and encouraging of each of my new expeditions listened attentively and even had some awesome ideas of his own that I'm going to infuse into my work over this weekend! Awesome sauce!

A collaborative journey and one that required a fine balance of community, process and practice. Hence, the purpose and goal of an artist date.

This weekend I have another opportunity. I have the honor of being included in a scrapbooking extravaganza retreat weekend that my two nieces attend every year in Freeport, ME. It's a paper wielding, generally female focused event where they learn techniques and generate ideas for crafting and creating gorgeous memory books for their families drawing from all of their yearly experiences. It's a cult like experience no doubt, but pure fun! There is nothing more invigorating then freedom from responsibility and daily life. These ladies are fueled with Monster energy drinks, candy they don't have to share with anyone, their own minds, as well as the affirmation and encouragement of sharing and connecting with other like minded artists in their own unique medium. It's awesome!

For me, a non scrapbooker, but a fringe dweller and a paper whore I see all of the possibilities in the scraps. Templates for painting and mark making in my own work with art journaling and mixed media paper collage. Ideas for card making, techniques for assemblage and pop up books, a perfect pairing but mostly I go for the connection with these beautiful young women that I treasure daily.

Did I mention they were the flower girls in my wedding? Love them so! Craft on ladies~

Peace Always,
Denice

Why Blog?

It's been a week since I resurrected my blog and it seems like the timing has been perfect as far as flow and content ideas are concerned. My writer's mind is reeling as it often does when the creative side is driving and I find myself spooling with fun topics, scenarios  interesting perspectives, at least I think so with the fun flurry of creative energy that streams onto the page.

So, of course I am extremely verbal and in my more conservative crowd of people I begin to SHARE.

"I started my blog back up".. this and that about ideas, taking pictures of everything, telling them how to find it, "click here and click there".. "follow me", "subscribe to my feed".. Oh my goodness.. kinda nutty, but the excitement is contagious and they seem to be genuinely interested in this foreign idea to them and are at least open to entertaining me which I am grateful for, it's possible they could just be being kind. Who knows. What I did discover in the last week is a common question amidst my nearest and dearest that had the purest pleasure of my creative processing verbal word storm..

The question was, why do you blog?

Simple enough right. Well, I actually had a very quick answer to that and it was pure and true and I kind of surprised myself by the answer as well.

I blog or I chose to share my writing in this format because it's a creative way for me to share the life that bubbles up around me. It's a way to reach out and touch people that may not approach you on any given day. It's my platform to inspire thought, joy, plant spiritual and creative seeds and more then not I blog because it's fun! It's fun to walk through any 24 hours that I've been blessed to have and see things that would be touching, inspiring, funny, spiritual, creative.

Blogging teaches me something as well. That I don't know squat about a lot of things and that I know a damn lot about others.. It teaches me to be attentive, to be patient, to listen to peoples stories and to be present in every situation. There is so much to learn and to be apart of in our lives and if the blogging reaches just a few cyber spirits and creates just one smile, one new thought,  inspires a creative impulse or slows you down just long enough to realign yourself and be present, then it has done it's job.

I went to the library this week, which is my heaven by the way.. and picked up some books on blogging. "Blogging For Dummies".. Lol.. perfect! I learned that "Blog" was derived from the words web and log.. hence the name blog. I couldn't help but revert immediately to my childhood memory of The Electric Company shadow people that would enunciate the sounds of words. One side saying  a portion of a word and the shadow person on the other side would finish it.. WEB~LOG, BLOG.

I hope that explains the why of it. Comments below the post are my only way of knowing what your thoughts are so feel free to post away! Who knows, maybe I'll be reading yours someday as well.

Peace Always~ Denice

Back In The Saddle

                                 
How many times do you fall before you finally get the hang of doing something? Riding a bike? A horse? Skiing? I think this is the third time, maybe the fourth attempt at trying to write this blog. So today, I find myself out of nets, excuses and reasons not to bother, so alas! Here it is again. Forgive me and welcome back!

I've discovered that if I just write it for goodness sake and stop thinking about writing it, I'd be totally ahead of the game. My feeling now is that grammatically right or wrong, tenses in place or not, raw or thought out, the writing of it is the most important part. I've discovered also that I need to have a means of expression within my varied interests and experiences in this life and blogging seems to creatively cover all the bases.

This process helps me keep an account of my endeavors and experiences. From textile explorations to splashing about with mixed media pieces, art journaling to discover what these materials do. Experiments in baking, savory styles of chefdom couture, artist dates for inspiration, color and texture indulgences. Not to mention furry friend expeditions, new authors, vintage ideas renewed, inspiring works, words and spiritual moments too many to count or list here and now, but that is pretty much how the blog will go. Random Perfection!

I'll try to map it out a bit, it'll go rouge more then not, but will attempt to create a weekly check in point to share the road with other explorers, creative spirits and makers of all genres.

I welcome all sojourners of the creative process and hope you enjoy this walk with me as I discover my own path on this journey of life I've been blessed to have and that we can learn and experience a little bit more for having walked through it together.