Cleaner Living

Everyday is a brand new beginning right.. I pray so. The empty Oreo cookie package in the waste basket from the night before or the last few nights in a row that it took to polish them off is evidence that I am not trying to hide anything but, as always it is a blaring component of my need to fill something other then my belly from time to time. Sweet? Salty? Boozy? Comforting? Calming? I'm not sure when I came to the understanding that substances other then just myself were a "fix it" for my emotional wellness and how it came to have such an impact on my everyday life from a very young age.

I think we learn what we live, or at least I did, some things took a few rounds to get it, but there it was in the end. There was a lot of thumping and bumping through life, learning as you go kind of lessons, model what you see more so then any philosophies.. and became kind of the gist of my eclectic, self medication tactics. I know I am not alone here..

Garden variety was a term I heard once at a support meeting describing people like me years ago. I had never heard that term before. I liked the garden part. Flowers. Blooming. Propagation. Color... The variety piece was appealing as well. Variety is the spice of life right? Keeps things interesting to have varied interests, maybe not dozens and dozens, but variety could only be beneficial was my way of thinking.

Well, in the best case scenario maybe, but with a cellular predisposition to wander, inattention and a distracted make up with a propensity to obsessive natures and not having any innate understanding of which direction was right or wrong, accepted or desired, a "Garden Variety" personality such as myself ended up being a perfect recipe for a Hot Mess Soup.. and one that I made often.

Most of the lessons I learned in my life have come from personal experiences. Good, bad, embarrassing, fearful, spiritual, dangerous, exciting, creative, hysterical, in a fun way of course. :) They all came when they came and it wasn't until after the fact when I had some perspective and I would say...
Damn.... That was a little sketchy, or Man..... I don't think I'll ever do that again, or Awesome!!!... I want to do that for the rest of my life... I know I'm not alone here either.. Lol..

Anyway, reflecting a bit now in my older years, I don't remember ever choosing to do something that I researched, investigated all of the scenarios, knew all of the facts, accessed the risk factors FIRST..  AND THEN..  made a choice to move forward.  Anything that I ever was passionate about and wanted to discover fully, seemed to choose me and when that happened I was ALL IN!  I was never one to "Seek Wise Counsel"... and then proceed with caution. I was a touch the wood stove kind of girl and figured out pretty quick most times that doing one thing or another was either good or not good in my own personal Book of Wisdom and moved forward or backward from there. Which may explain my abundance of scars, unfinished projects and creative endeavors.

To end.. With all of this nuttiness going on in our world, routines, lives, physical and mental health turned upside down and side ways what was the best way for me to channel some of that and take care of myself?  The other day a very wise, young person shared with me her thoughts and it was to "first, do no harm". As simple as that. Hippocrates in his finest hour. Brilliant!!

So today, I'll take a step out or over the hard stuff however I can manage and cause the least amount of harm to myself or others and then move on from there.
No shame here. No big rules or inner~judgey eye rolls.. Just another 24 hours to make it less harmful, and kinder, for myself and then to anyone close enough to share it with, 6 feet apart of course.

Cheers,

Denice

Back In The Saddle

                                 
How many times do you fall before you finally get the hang of doing something? Riding a bike? A horse? Skiing? I think this is the third time, maybe the fourth attempt at trying to write this blog. So today, I find myself out of nets, excuses and reasons not to bother, so alas! Here it is again. Forgive me and welcome back!

I've discovered that if I just write it for goodness sake and stop thinking about writing it, I'd be totally ahead of the game. My feeling now is that grammatically right or wrong, tenses in place or not, raw or thought out, the writing of it is the most important part. I've discovered also that I need to have a means of expression within my varied interests and experiences in this life and blogging seems to creatively cover all the bases.

This process helps me keep an account of my endeavors and experiences. From textile explorations to splashing about with mixed media pieces, art journaling to discover what these materials do. Experiments in baking, savory styles of chefdom couture, artist dates for inspiration, color and texture indulgences. Not to mention furry friend expeditions, new authors, vintage ideas renewed, inspiring works, words and spiritual moments too many to count or list here and now, but that is pretty much how the blog will go. Random Perfection!

I'll try to map it out a bit, it'll go rouge more then not, but will attempt to create a weekly check in point to share the road with other explorers, creative spirits and makers of all genres.

I welcome all sojourners of the creative process and hope you enjoy this walk with me as I discover my own path on this journey of life I've been blessed to have and that we can learn and experience a little bit more for having walked through it together.