Progress Not Perfection

Packing makes me crazy.

It doesn't matter where I'm going or what I'm doing travel wise, I get obsessed with the what to bring, how much, the needs and want scenarios and whatever else might come into play that it makes me a little nutty until I leave. Today is that day. Ugh!

My flight is at 5:30 in the morning Friday and knowing full well already that I won't sleep before I leave is already in my mind. My thought here is that if I write it down and get it out of my head it won't happen and I can release the worry that is waiting it's turn. That worry usually transforms itself into a shot of adrenaline right before I fall asleep with the ONE thing I've forgotten! Lord help me.

I've tried not to care. I pack days ahead. I even throw all my worries to the travel fairies that assure me that if I get stuck, I can always buy what I need when I get there, but, it still happens.

Yesterday, I promised myself that this spring, summer and fall with all of it's events coming up I would NOT over pack.  It doesn't matter what the venue is, but I do this painfully so every single time! Camping trips, weddings, retreats, reunions, or whatever else might come up in the weeks and months ahead.. day trips for goodness sake! :( Help me! Help me! Help me!

Becoming a minimalist and traveling with one pair of panties and my knitting in my purse isn't going to happen just because of a promise I made to myself yesterday, but I think it would be a good practice this trip to bring half of what I "think" I will need.

I'm going from one home to another with no galas in place and all kiddos and family around. Hardly a concern clothing wise, but my choices of books, handwork and travel art journals are starting to pile up as I'll have some free time during the week while the kiddos are in school. There's a pool at the house! What am I thinking.. Ugh~ Again.

Obviously, THIS is not my strength. Maybe I'll let dear hubby pack for me and just go with it. Now that would be a test and not a half bad idea~ We'll see how it goes. Worry servers no purpose, I will pray. Progress Not Perfection is the goal. Mantras of a snarky packer!

Wish me luck! Nashville here I come~

Any tips in the comments below would be greatly appreciated.

Also, if you're having a hard time posting comments in a Google mode, you can choose how to add it via the scroll selection below the comment box, or subscribe via email to the blog and you'll have a Blogger connection and that seems to make it easier..

Hope that helps, I'd love to hear what you think.

Peace~ Denice

Creative Phases ~ Socks

Not unlike the attention span of a Jack Russell terrier, my creative phases and interests vary and shift at a rapid rate of speed. Similar to some of the other creative makers that I have come to know over the years and can happily say I have found "my people" in the midst of them, leaving me with a welcome relief that I am not alone, nor am I this oddity that some people have a hard time grasping.

Sometimes I have a hard time relating to the slow and steady wins the race folks, perfection seekers, as well as, finishes all of their projects people, but I do find them charming enough.

To their credit and in no way to judge their personal process they do get the job done. They don't have to live with the half completed ideas, piles of assorted mediums and never enough time to complete them all syndrome that I suffer from. Which of course is something I do not know anything about..

I've have come to accept that that is part of my maker self and am grateful that at this point in my life the few that are close to me understand this and allow space for me to express my ideas, try and fail, try again and succeed. Everyone in my designated cult should be so fortunate.

Today I thought I'd share my "sock phase".. There are probably another dozen or more pairs that were not present for this photo shoot due to them being gifted, lost or worn out. But, you'll at least get a vibe for the creative allure and a peak at the passion that drives the makers heart.

Working at a yarn shop for five years off and on didn't help this helter skelter creative distraction issue, but did allow me to have a fabulous stash of gorgeous materials to work with, and now that I have my own time and space around me I can make away! There's always a silver lining somewhere.

It's been a while since I've knit any socks but lately I keep circling around the idea again. I'm preparing to fly to Nashville this month to take care of my nieces and nephew while their parents fly off to some warmer, all inclusive romance venue for a stretch and socks have always been the perfect traveling project.


I do have a "second sock" that I've needed to knit up since last summer but that always feels like a penance as anyone who makes socks can testify to. I'm going to have to think about this a little more.

Here's a random idea! I could bring the second sock exclusively like my polar opposite friends do and then I would have no other choices. A scary option for someone such as myself. But, who knows? I might even finish it, maybe even wear them home. Stay tuned!

What creative phase are you in? What are you making today?

Betty Goes Vegan~It's a real thing!

About a year ago I was meandering around the Books A Million bookstore in South Portland, Maine.

My apologies to my small local bookstores for the lapse in judgement. If it's any consolation I didn't buy anything, just happened to be in town and was trolling for inspiration.

Shameless plug for my local book shops in the Brunswick area..

"Twice Told Tales".. a non profit to benefit the Curtis Memorial Library & Gulf of Maine Books, both right in downtown Brunswick within walking distance of each other. These shops are my endless sources of free therapy, guidance, laughter, solace, a little bit of book addiction dealer action and just an endless source of serenity that you just don't get in the bigger spaces, no matter how many books they can stuff into four walls.

Click on the links above and you'll get a better idea of what I'm talking about and also where they are located.

I think that makes up for my BAM faux pas. :)

Back to Betty~ Well, my dear mother in law of 28 years, way back when on my 20th birthday, bought me a copy of "Betty Crocker's" cookbook. This copy was brand new in softcover and was in it's third printing in 1987. Can't believe I've had it all of these years and have used it consistently throughout. Obvious wear and tare. Nothing a little duct tape can't fix.

When I was beginning my navigation into the vegan sphere of baking and cooking I pulled out this standby cookbook and substituted away until I created my dairy free, egg free concoctions and thought myself quite inventive. That was until I thumbed through the cookbooks at BAM and what to my wondering eyes should appear... 

Well, you guessed it. "Betty Goes Vegan", or something like that.  It happened. :)

Below is my original Blueberry Muffin recipe from home. It differs from the newest vegan Betty version a bit.  I'm partial to Chia seeds and she's more of a flax lady. Try it out and see what you think. Hubby loves them and truly prefers them to the cup of veggie oil, a cup and a half of sad dairy cow excretions and two eggs that never had a chance... A sad muffin no doubt, but who knew!

I'm totally saying that to gross you out and tease, I hope you know, but this version is way more heart healthy, better for your overall nutrition and because they still maintain their awesomeness in taste and texture you can actually eat MORE of them!! Bonus!





Heat oven to 400

3/4c. plain unsweetened Almond milk (soy, rice, cashew, coconut) all work too.
1/2c. unsweetened applesauce
1 Chia egg (2 Tablespoons of Chia Seeds in 1/4c warm water. Soak for about 5 minutes to make.
2 cups unbleached white wheat flour. if you are gluten free, use the same amount of your flour of choice.
1/3c. unrefined or regular sugar
3 tsp. aluminum free baking powder
1 tsp. fine sea salt
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries tossed first in a little bit of flour to coat.

Spray muffin tins or line with baking cups. I don't use the baking cups because they tend to stick to those.

Beat milk, applesauce and chia egg together. Stir in flour, sugar, baking powder and salt all at once. Stir ingredients all together leaving the batter somewhat lumpy in texture. Fold in coated blueberries after.
Divide batter into twelve muffins. Sprinkle with a small amount of sugar on top of each.
Bake for 20-22 minutes. Check for doneness with a toothpick. Sometimes they take a little longer to brown up.

I don't have the nutritional details with the change, I just know they are better for you. Try the recipe for yourself and let me know in the comments what you think or how they came out!

Not to fear... Betty even tries new things.

Good Luck! Denice

The Hope of Spring

There's really nothing much better in Maine this time of year then the hope of spring. For the last five months we've hunkered down, layered up, tolerated the icy temperatures, navigated messy roads, withstood long dark nights, constant weather drama and added an extra layer around our mid section for good measure, in large measure unfortunately for some of us.

Spring. It came just this past week and followed right up with a snow storm. The trees are bare, the ground is semi soft and the sky is grey. Sounds like a sad tossed away Mamma's and Papa's song.. Well, it's here so far as the calendar says, but the hope is what keeps us checking for crocus pips, bulb activity around the edge of the house, anything that just boosts you into another day, another week and just keeping your fingers crossed that we can get a little bit closer and a little bit warmer with every passing day. That sounds like hope to me.

Soon the Mayflowers will be out. Forest flowers that grow on the bankings near our home in Harpswell. Every year close to or on my birthday, the third week in April they are ready and they are the absolute proof in this area that no more snow will come. Proof that the ground is about ready for spring planting and we have come through the storm for another year. Fingers crossed.

Easter is this weekend. Some years it's greening up and the Easter egg hunts are in full bloom outside with all the little ones in pretty dresses, Mary Jane shoes, bow ties and flailing baskets running amuck in the spring weather. We will see. It's still a good idea to keep your boots and coat in the car.

Happy Easter All~ Happy Spring!

In The Raw

When my father was diagnosed with fourth stage lung cancer three and a half years ago our family's foundation fell out from underneath all of us. Lost, afraid, panicked and angry were a few of the feelings that coursed through each of us as we settled into the very real loss that was staring us right in the face.

The path we were on for five months after his diagnosis was one that I think most people experience when this type of thing strikes them in the same manner. Fog ridden thoughts, serious discussions that you forget thirty minutes after having them, hyper vigilance and focusing on his care, not to mention anything else that could numb out the very brutal reality that our father was dying.

I shared this journey with my mother, all five of my siblings, my husband, my children and a hoard of grandchildren, family and friends. Dad might have been lacking in stature but he was no small man. His worse nightmare and biggest blessing was that we were all there to take care of him in his time of need. All of his needs were covered.. physical, mental, spiritual, financial, you name it we had it and it was done in a timely and efficient manner. Those things we could manage, not always our best at the same time, but each of us took our turn and backed away when we couldn't be our strongest selves.
The beauty of a big, strong, catholic family. Fake it till you make it, don't be a baby, grin and bare it, suck it up buttercup, buckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it.. I think we all used to sing a song that had some of those lyrics.

Anyhow.. In the middle of all of this mayhem and discord I began researching a natural, very intense, nutritional means of possibly waylaying Dad's illness. Reading about how powerful nutrition, supplements, juicing and flooding your body with these powerful micro nutrients could be gave me hope. Hope that he wouldn't die, maybe. Hope that he wouldn't hurt or suffer anymore, maybe. Hope that somehow, someway I could stop this train wreck and it would all just get better, it all could happen right? Maybe?

It all did happen and we lost him anyway. It wasn't anything any of us could control no matter how hard we rallied, how much juice we made or how hard we prayed. The blessing came when he wasn't suffering anymore. We accepted that loss for that reason, but's it's been a slow road traveled in these last three years. It makes it hard to heal when all of the wounds you have are on the inside and just the smell of him opens that painful place up again like it was yesterday.

In these last three years I have become a self proclaimed EDE (experimental dietary explorer). I don't believe that there is any official title in the world that I could be categorized under, but I think the title in and of itself is self explanatory. The course I started in the midst of my father's illness gave me a purpose and a focus to begin anew after his death. I can hear him when I come up with new recipes that avoid meat of all kinds are dairy free, gluten free and all things plant. He'd screw up his face, give me that "look", say "I don't think so" and would try it anyway. My father was a very smart man, he knew that his smoking was why he was sick, but also saw the value in what I was peddling as he lost his appetite, hair and strength. It gave him hope too.

This post was to share a new recipe that is dairy, meat and gluten free.. also raw, vegan and delicious.

So many people ask "why" would you eat like that or cook in that manner when I share what I'm doing or eating. It intrigues them I guess. So I figured I'd share the why of it first and then you'll know, but also understand, the healing power of hope.

Be A Positive Force

Last night I gathered with a small study group that started or should I say evolved over the last six months. It's a wonderful clutch of women that share their experiences, involvement in community and spiritual journeys on a weekly basis.

I say it evolved mainly because I didn't set out on my own to host or create it, it just happened. The parts of my life that reveal themselves in this way I always try to lift to a higher power then myself and know that if it all opens up and most things just kind of click along it is divinely created and meant to be. Therefore, I try to get out of the way and just create the space needed for whatever is supposed to unfold within all of it.

Our discussion last night was prompted by a small portion of a book that we've all been reading. Beneath the topic of discussion was a noticeable concern that came up and was politically charged due to the obvious campaign circus that lie blatantly before all of us.

The first comments shared boiled down to complete discouragement, disbelief, frustration, anger, fear and helplessness. On so many levels you really couldn't resolve, guide or comfort anyone with the reality that each of us have found ourselves in. After much selective ranting and finding that we were all of the same mind we stopped. We decided not to go there and to relate somehow back to what we had been reading to what we were experiencing and thought unanimously to seek a better way and to reach for higher ground.

The book that we are reading is a parish wide small group book study by Matthew Kelly. Our pastor thought it would be a wonderful devotional and spiritual boost for our Lenten journey and provided books for everyone. The grace that came from our shared experience last night felt like one that should be shared on a bigger scale no matter what faith base you've been planted in.

Here are a few pieces of where we went with that grace.

"Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances." Thes 5 16-18

~ God is always at our side to help us make the best decisions
~What are you most grateful for today?

This stopped the fear, anger and any other entourage of thoughts to a screeching halt and gave us "pause".. Gratitude does that. Gratitude gains you the prospective to create that pause in the middle of the flurried funnel of despair that can consume us when we feel out of control. Gratitude for the simplest things and once you begin to follow that trek of thought you begin to see things with a bit more light, a shred of hope and begin to trust that this isn't up to us all by ourselves and to let go a bit.

Another piece that worked it's way in was...

"A joyful heart is good medicine." Proverbs 17:22
~There is nothing like the joy that God wants to fill our hearts with.
~Who or what is robbing you of your joy today?

Again, this gave us hope for the journey. Another tool, another place to pause and gather up our strength and courage to not feel defeated but to feel challenged instead. Challenged to stare fear, anxiety, panic and defeat right in the eye and.... Smile! Laugh! Be Kind! Help Someone! Turn off our phones, social media, news and drama binging and sit with a real person for an hour. Sing! Dance! Be Foolish and Silly.. relax!! 

After some processing this morning and mucking about in all of the pieces that made our evening conversations passionate and lively, I came up with a few certainties to embrace in these uncertain times. Certainties that if applied daily could change your life and even others around you that you didn't even know were watching.

Be a light in the darkness. Be a positive force in the world. Remember that negative thinking empowers the problem and if we embrace joy in its truest form~ LOVE. We have all won the race.

Can I get an Amen!

"I love you too, Mom"

Last week I woke up early like I usually do and grabbed my phone from the night stand, gathered all of the magazines and books that I fell asleep with in hope that I would read them in the five minutes I was awake after laying down in my cozy bed.

Hubby sound asleep beside me after coming to bed at three a.m after his shift I quietly tuck in the room darkening shade, gathering my pile of clothes for the day that I set aside at night so I don't have to wake him once I leave the room. This has all become my routine as I close the door, white noise machine lulling in the back ground and the pup, cat and myself head downstairs for their long awaited breakfast and my fresh pot of hot coffee.

After setting down my books, clothes and whatever else I grabbed in the dark I turned to the side table to plug my phone into the charger. Turning the phone on to check for messages there is one. A response from the night before that went right through my heart and brought me to tears. 

"I love you too, Mom". 

Since the boys have grown up, left home for work and adventure along with going off to college this means of communication has for the most part been how we've been in touch. A three hour time difference out west is perfect for a goodnight message and an I love you before bed. Staying in touch with the one son closer to home and in the same time zone, texting has been ideal, with his vampire lifestyle and  late night college life it makes it perfect to not be intrusive but just to connect once in a while. This too has become routine.

I do talk to the guys once in a while, but our communication is mainly done in this manner. It seems to work best for them and with all of the technology and ease of communication it has become the normal means for us. It's okay, but I miss their voices. There is nothing more reassuring then to hear the voices of the ones you love that somehow just makes everything alright. 

Reading that text during this random morning made me realize how much not hearing them call me "mom" has also been a loss of sorts. After identifying with that name and role for 24 years I didn't just magically become Denice overnight. 

Being a mom is more apart of who I am then who I am, if that makes any sense at all. Hubby doesn't call me "wife" or "spouse", although when he tries it's received with selective hearing loss of course until the endearing names take their place...Honey, Sweetie, Baby.. Ooozing with 28 years of marital sappiness. Lol..

So what does all of this mean? Who knows, but what I do know is that for me, not hearing their voices has never becomes routine and even via a text message the sound of theirs is still in my ears. 

I love you too! 

Generating Creativity

Years ago I was wandering around the old Bookland & Cafe in Brunswick, ME. Miss it still! While flipping through the inspiring works of writers and artists I came upon the book, "The Artist's Way", by Julia Cameron. At the time I had never experienced any of her writing and within the first few lines I was hooked! It was a book based on courses that she had developed on cultivating and nurturing your creative self~ in whatever genre or creative realm you existed within. Mine at the time was writing of course, as that has been my mainstay since I was ten, but I was also exploring color and painting through watercolor outside of a home based stenciling job that I was working at in our basement while raising our three young sons.

Julia set me on a course of exploration.. She gave me tools within her books that I still utilize in my everyday creative process. Over time I have shifted in my mediums up and down the span of art but have always maintained the "process" that I learned through her wonderful 12 week self directed course work. I highly recommend it.

Morning pages (journaling) and artists dates are the two constants in my daily creative path that I learned from Julia's book. The writing just seems to flow now after all of these years. My journals fill up without effort, the artist dates took a bit more time to cultivate.

Elizabeth Gilbert in her latest book on creativity, "Big Magic" quotes Joan Didion, "I don't know what I think until I write it down." I related so much to that one statement and understand fully after twenty four years of writing that this one line is why I have to get up every morning before the world begins to write, otherwise I am stuck. Who knew! Thank goodness I have that tool, without it and left to myself I'd undoubtably be a hot mess.

The artist's dates didn't come as easily to me. It was more of an effort to take myself out and experience those times in the beginning. The biggest hurdle I think was to truly identify myself as an "artist". It felt very self indulgent and ego centered initially to claim that label, but over the years I've come to be kinder to myself and to allow that artist inside of me to come fully into place regardless of my critical self or God forbid what others might think.

 How else would I explain my quirky, random colorful idea flurries or frenzied involvement within my pages or in the learning phases of my art if not for the clear definition of a creative mind.. I just had to wait a bit for my true self to evolve.. ahhh.. wisdom, it's a beautiful thing.

So.. the artist's dates as of late have been in the form of taking a class at my friend Mandy Russell's new mixed media art studio, The Painted Dog, in the Brunswick area. A haven of creative energy and support to explore color, texture, layers and just freedom to play. It is fabulous!! Tuesday I jumped at the chance to attend her morning class offering and it made my whole week. New ideas flourished in my own work, I felt excited about learning something new. Being excruciatingly verbal I shared much if not all of my five year old excited self with dear hubby throughout the last few days. He being eternally supportive and encouraging of each of my new expeditions listened attentively and even had some awesome ideas of his own that I'm going to infuse into my work over this weekend! Awesome sauce!

A collaborative journey and one that required a fine balance of community, process and practice. Hence, the purpose and goal of an artist date.

This weekend I have another opportunity. I have the honor of being included in a scrapbooking extravaganza retreat weekend that my two nieces attend every year in Freeport, ME. It's a paper wielding, generally female focused event where they learn techniques and generate ideas for crafting and creating gorgeous memory books for their families drawing from all of their yearly experiences. It's a cult like experience no doubt, but pure fun! There is nothing more invigorating then freedom from responsibility and daily life. These ladies are fueled with Monster energy drinks, candy they don't have to share with anyone, their own minds, as well as the affirmation and encouragement of sharing and connecting with other like minded artists in their own unique medium. It's awesome!

For me, a non scrapbooker, but a fringe dweller and a paper whore I see all of the possibilities in the scraps. Templates for painting and mark making in my own work with art journaling and mixed media paper collage. Ideas for card making, techniques for assemblage and pop up books, a perfect pairing but mostly I go for the connection with these beautiful young women that I treasure daily.

Did I mention they were the flower girls in my wedding? Love them so! Craft on ladies~

Peace Always,
Denice

Why Blog?

It's been a week since I resurrected my blog and it seems like the timing has been perfect as far as flow and content ideas are concerned. My writer's mind is reeling as it often does when the creative side is driving and I find myself spooling with fun topics, scenarios  interesting perspectives, at least I think so with the fun flurry of creative energy that streams onto the page.

So, of course I am extremely verbal and in my more conservative crowd of people I begin to SHARE.

"I started my blog back up".. this and that about ideas, taking pictures of everything, telling them how to find it, "click here and click there".. "follow me", "subscribe to my feed".. Oh my goodness.. kinda nutty, but the excitement is contagious and they seem to be genuinely interested in this foreign idea to them and are at least open to entertaining me which I am grateful for, it's possible they could just be being kind. Who knows. What I did discover in the last week is a common question amidst my nearest and dearest that had the purest pleasure of my creative processing verbal word storm..

The question was, why do you blog?

Simple enough right. Well, I actually had a very quick answer to that and it was pure and true and I kind of surprised myself by the answer as well.

I blog or I chose to share my writing in this format because it's a creative way for me to share the life that bubbles up around me. It's a way to reach out and touch people that may not approach you on any given day. It's my platform to inspire thought, joy, plant spiritual and creative seeds and more then not I blog because it's fun! It's fun to walk through any 24 hours that I've been blessed to have and see things that would be touching, inspiring, funny, spiritual, creative.

Blogging teaches me something as well. That I don't know squat about a lot of things and that I know a damn lot about others.. It teaches me to be attentive, to be patient, to listen to peoples stories and to be present in every situation. There is so much to learn and to be apart of in our lives and if the blogging reaches just a few cyber spirits and creates just one smile, one new thought,  inspires a creative impulse or slows you down just long enough to realign yourself and be present, then it has done it's job.

I went to the library this week, which is my heaven by the way.. and picked up some books on blogging. "Blogging For Dummies".. Lol.. perfect! I learned that "Blog" was derived from the words web and log.. hence the name blog. I couldn't help but revert immediately to my childhood memory of The Electric Company shadow people that would enunciate the sounds of words. One side saying  a portion of a word and the shadow person on the other side would finish it.. WEB~LOG, BLOG.

I hope that explains the why of it. Comments below the post are my only way of knowing what your thoughts are so feel free to post away! Who knows, maybe I'll be reading yours someday as well.

Peace Always~ Denice

For Every Time There Is A Season

 

It'll be twenty years this April that I've walked this same stretch of road near our home in Harpswell, Maine. Twenty years! That is crazy to even comprehend, but true none the less. I'm only twenty years old aren't I? Lol.. Not quite.

Spring is approaching and a little sooner this year then years past. We are open and welcoming to the simple signs of it as they give us hope and perseverance for the long few weeks ahead that seem to drag when you are waiting to shed jackets, boots and all of the layers that seem to carry more weight then warmth right about now.

Today walking down this same stretch has felt a little more melancholy. I thought about how much life has changed since the loud plastic police bikes, wagons, scooters and skateboards used to litter the road, driveway and garage at our house. Rambunctious screams from the backyard that you could discern between blood drawing or non emergent just by the sound, not even needing to look up from your task at hand knowing that was the life of boys and this was my life too.

Walking down the road was something we always did as a family. After dinner, just to talk, walk the critters or just to breath, it was a time to connect no matter what the season. In the spring though with the boys, it was always a magical time. Noticing the simple pips of bulbs that returned year after year, pussy willows at the gate or at "The McKinnon's" house. Snow melt water rushing toward the ocean, discovering the gifts that winter left on the ledges, huge stumps, old bouys, walking sticks and random debris that could undoubtably be turned into something, or so we imagined at the time.

Our family has shifted and changed so much over these last couple of years. The boys have grown up, have moved away and on into their perspective lives and other pieces have fallen into place into ours. New friends and experiences have filled in some of the gaps of where life used to be in our dailiness, but there is still a space, an empty part that I'm trying to figure out how to fill. Having our family so young and close together was wonderful and full of life with lots of activity and volume. In the midst of it all and in the hurriedness they flourished and grew. I never thought about how quiet it would be once they all moved on.

Everyone that has an empty nest tells me that, "they come back".. well, I'm thinking about that and it could be so, but with boys I think it's a little bit different, at least in our home. I have no doubt that they will visit, and return in different ways over the course of their lives and I look forward to what each of them will discover and do within all of their own paths.. but it will never be what it was again and that I've found is the bitter sweet part of parenting I'm afraid.

I am excited about this next phase of our life. Rediscovering myself at this age, a renewal of love with the landscape artist that I live with. Camping trips, adventures, entertaining and serving my community in new ways. I've even begun to use cloth napkins! Some days I do have to refrain from adding new puppies or more busyness to my life to fill up some of the quiet, but overall it just takes a little getting used to.

There is a time for everything I'm learning and spring is a time full of new beginnings, growth, more light and new life. This year I think I'll take a lot more walks, maybe hike a new trail instead. Embrace this time to be creative and rediscovering a whole other side of life will be kind of exciting and I'm anxious to see where this new path will lead.

Find Courage in Your Dreams

I woke up this morning from a dream where I was in a small boat with one of my sisters.. The waters were rushing all around us, it felt like a river but was leading to the ocean, so I'm not truly sure of where we were. The boat was taking on water fast and before we really knew what was going on or what level of danger we were in, it was too late and the water began to rush even faster around us.
The orrs fell out and the rope that was meant to tie off at the bow caught up around my sister and she was pulled under as the boat began to sink. Panic stuck and the fear gave me strength that I never knew I had. I was able to hold onto the boat with one hand, grab a leaning tree branch with the other and with my body hanging in the middle pull the boat toward me to the embankment of the river, all the while my sister was under water tied to the sinking boat...

Scary to wake up like that.. After clearing my head and thinking about some of the drifting away dream I could see the pieces of it all and where my subconscious was drawing all of it's drama from.

Instead of feeling a daunting cloud of doom and vowing to never again get in a boat, on a river, with my sister... I thought about courage. The courage that it took for her to trust me in our dream together. That although she was destined to drown in what was happening in that moment she let go and relaxed and let me help her.

The courage that it takes to let go of something that you have no control over is incredible. To be able to trust something bigger then ourselves, even if you feel you haven't got a choice in the matter, when it all comes at you so fast that you can't do anything but trust. That takes amazing courage!

As the dream filtered out and my mind came back to the new day ahead I was relieved to say the least that we had come along side the shore, she had a grasp on the roots beneath the surface and was able to start pulling herself back up above the rushing water as I held tight to our tree of life and the boat.

Together our strength increased and we were safe once again.

Life is like that sometimes. Rushing, scary, full of anxiety and uncertainty. Living today does take great courage on so many levels and I am so relieved to not have to walk alone. Our course and strength does come from within, a higher power navigational system that we all have access to, however you believe it to be sourced from. Allowing that power to work through us is our job as well as to be fearless! What a wild adventure it will be.